Honoring Your Father and Mother
Do you struggle getting to Mass or confession because your parents won’t take you? Do you want to talk about your faith at home, but your parents are not ready to listen? If so, you are not alone. My dad is not Catholic; he doesn’t much care for religion. Unfortunately, this has led to a lot of strife between the two of us. I get angry because he makes a snide comment about my greatest love, and he gets mad when I put my faith above him. For the longest time, I struggled with the fourth commandment and my father. How am I supposed to honor my father on a Sunday when my dad wants me to work with him all day, I need to go to Mass, and I want to go to youth group? How do I choose between honoring my father and keeping the Sabbath?
Christ gives us an answer to this in His Word. In Luke, we have the finding of the Child Jesus in the temple. Mary and Joseph didn’t know that Jesus had stayed behind in Jerusalem after the Passover. They had assumed He was in the caravan with the other boys, but when they couldn’t find their child, Mary and Joseph returned to Jerusalem to find Him. Finally, they find Christ in the temple, talking to the teachers.
”When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, ‘Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.’ And he said to them, ‘Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?’” (Luke 2:48-49)
Christ recognized that while we must honor our earthly parents, our first obedience goes to our Father in Heaven. Christ called us His brothers; through that, we are adopted sons of the Father (Ephesians 1:5).
So if your parents do not understand your faith or have no love for the Church themselves, I am truly sorry. It is a hard road to say no to them constantly and to choose God over them, but it is what you must do. Every day, you must choose God first, even if it means saying no to your family or your friends. God is far more important than them. It sounds harsh to say, but it is true. To follow Christ, to choose Him every day, is the most important thing you will ever do. I am reminded of the man in Matthew who asked to bury his father. Christ replied, “Let the dead bury their dead. But you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:60) This may sound harsh, but what Christ is saying is that following Him is more important than any earthly obligation. This is not to say that you should not love your parents, you need to still love and honor them, but you must realize where your first priority lies.
Even though it will hurt to choose your faith over your parents, your witness to the importance of your faith could be instrumental in bringing your parents closer to the Church. Pray for them every day, that they may experience the love of God that drew you to Him first. Invite them to come with you to Mass. This is not an easy path, but it was given to you because you can take it. Some parents can only be reached through their children. In this struggle, please take heart and know that you are loved. God, your Father, would recreate all of Heaven and Earth, go back on the Cross and die, and suffer all over again just to hear you say the words “I love you too, Jesus”, just to have you choose Him.
After reading this, I do not want you to walk away thinking “Well shoot, I can’t make it to Mass because I have no ride and my parents won’t let me. I guess I am doomed for all eternity.” That is not true. If you try your best to make it to Mass and to follow Christ, He knows the intention of your heart. God is just, but He is also merciful. He knows how hard you try to follow Him and to put Him first, and He delights in that. He will not condemn you because your parents won’t let you go to Mass. Also, you should not use your faith as a way to rebel against your parents, since that is not honoring them. After reading this, if you only remember one thing, let it be this: God is the most important pursuit of your life. Though it may be difficult at times to follow Him, His blessings in your life will blow you away. Trust in Him, follow Him, and always put Him first.
