F is for Friends

Think of your best friend. Think of all the time that you’ve spent with them. All the long nights, the funny inside jokes, the first day you met. How well do they know you, and how well do you know them? Can you tell me their favorite color? Their latest crush? How about their most embarrassing moment?

Our best friends are so important in our lives because they influence and shape a lot of who we are. I definitely notice that whenever I hang out with someone for a long time, I start picking up their habits. That’s why your parents always tell you to choose the people you hang out with wisely. Ever notice how you have started doing some of the same things your friends do? Sometimes you start talking in funny voices like they do, or saying similar phrases they made up like “lighted” (don’t even ask)? Because your friends have this impact on you, don’t you want to make sure it’s a good impact? I know I do. In fact once I realized this I really started looking at whether or not my friends were in fact good friends.

In Sirach 6:14-16, God tells us what it means to be a good friend. According to the Bible a good friend is a “sturdy shelter”, “beyond price”, and “a life-saving remedy”. I would agree that these are all amazing qualities that I would want my best friend to have! I definitely want a friend to be my sturdy shelter and to stand by me when things get hard. I would never put a price on any of my friendships because I know they were choosing willingly and with selfless love. Most importantly I want my friends to help me live my best life. If my friends are leading me closer to Christ, then they are working to save my life everyday.

As I said before I didn’t always have friends like this. I didn’t always have people in my life who made me the best person possible. Our friendships were shallow, and they depended on earthly connections like sports, movies, or inside jokes. My greatest friendships, however, were founded in something more. The friends who are my sturdy shelter are the relationships that I founded first in Christ. Ever heard the story Jesus tells of the man who built his house on solid ground (Matthew 7:24-27 fyi)? Our relationships are the same way. If we build our friendships on our faith, nothing can shake them! Our faith has this amazing ability to bring people together and to build them up. My strongest friendships are friendships rooted in faith. They are unshakable because each one of those friends desire my happiness.

Let’s go a step further, instead of just putting Christ at the center of our relationships, what about looking at Jesus as one of those best friends? If you have never thought of Him in that way, then start! Jesus is everything that Sirach describes in a good friend. Jesus is the good shepherd that will always go after you. He is the friend who will stand up for you like when he stood up for the adulterous woman. Jesus will comfort you like he comforted Martha and Mary when their brother died.

Even more so, Jesus says this in John 15:12-14:

“This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.”

Christ literally GAVE his life for you. He doesn’t just say what a good friend is; he does what a good friend should.

One of the best ways that these relationships are built is through quality time. Personally it’s something that is extremely important to me. Spending time with someone is how I truly learn about who they are. My best friend can definitely tell you all this. In high school we made sure to spend as much time together as possible. In fact, one summer we saw each other 18 days in a row, skipped a day, and then saw each other on day 20. It’s so important for us to spend that time with our friends so that we can form those relationships with them! Now think of your best friend, how often do you see them? How many hours a day do you spend talking to them? Now once you have that number, think about how many hours a day you spend in prayer. If we want to see Christ as our friend, we have to spend time with him in order to get to know him more.

If you feel like you don’t know Jesus that well, or he doesn’t know you (which is crazy cause God says “before I formed you in the womb I knew you” Jeremiah 1:5) then start spending some quality time with him in prayer! Make prayer dates with Jesus in adoration. Arrive 15 minutes early for mass. Find something special to do before bed or when you wake up. If you want to know Christ, then start talking to him. That’s how every friendship starts.

About the Author

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Maria Barone

I’m just your typical Italian-American, Buffalo-born, puppy-lovin’, adventure seeking, Catholic girl that actually isn’t that typical. I’m always ready to travel the world and learn new things while staying true to myself, my roots, and my faith. If you wanna see just how crazy I am go ahead and follow me on instagram @ria21993 or on Pinterest at ria223!