The Greatest & The Least: GS24 Spring Retreat Re-cap
What is Love? This word is used in so many ways: I love coffee, I love my mom, my best friend, my teacher, my dog, Chipotle...Is my love for all of these things and people the same? We’re pretty limited when it comes to the English language, but in Greek, there are several words used to distinguish the different ways that human beings love. On our GS24 retreat this past weekend we talked about all of them!
Storge
This is the kind of affection that exists between family members. It is the first love that we experience as human beings. As a child, we love and trust our parents no matter what, and parents automatically feel a sense of responsibility toward their children (even if they are really funny looking when they're born). That’s what’s so beautiful about storge: it’s the most Catholic (the most universal) of all the loves. We love our family members regardless of what they look like, how talented they are, or how much we have in common. As we get older, we discover that it's not as easy to trust our parents or love our siblings every day. We have to work at it. It's not automatic. But by loving the people that we do not choose for ourselves, we learn to prove our love for the whole human race - the whole body of Christ. Philia
This is the kind of love that exists between friends. Friendship is walking side-by-side travelling toward the same goal. Most friendships begin with some common interest. “Hey! We both play soccer! Let's be best friends!” But, the things that we do, and the things that we like, can change a lot as we get older. If our friendships are only based on the things we have in common that change, our friendship will probably not last. Even if we make friends at church, that doesn’t guarantee that our friendship will be good and lasting ones. Depending on what our friendships are based on, they can either make us better or worse. The best goal that two friends can have is to become holy together; to help each other to become the saints that we’re meant to be. In other words, Jesus Christ Himself is at the end of the road that we're both traveling on. Having him as the third person in all of our friendships is what will make your friendships schools of virtue and not of vice.
Eros
If we're ever talking about the feeling of being in love, we’re talking about Eros. This is the kind of love that looks at another person and forgets that anyone and anything else exists. Friends travel down the road to their common goal side-by-side, looking ahead, but lovers are staring into each others’ eyes, blindly walking sideways. Eros is romantic love. It's emotional, passionate, and very powerful, but it does not last forever. There’s a honeymoon phase in every relationship. Once we start to see the faults of the person that we’re in love with, we have a decision to make. Do we continue to love them? The feelings associated with romantic love won’t be what makes a relationship last forever. Do you hope to be married one day? Well, something other than this romantic love would have to exist in order for that marriage to last “until death do us part”. Agape This. This is the love that makes it possible for us to love our mom and dad even when we’re grounded, and to love our siblings even when they're being annoying. This is the love that makes it possible for us to love our friend that doesn't play soccer with us anymore. This is the love that will make it possible for us to love our spouses, even when we don’t feel “in love” with them. Thomas Aquinas said that to love is, “to will the good of the other.” This is True Love. It is unconditional, sacrificial, and totally selfless. It's the willingness to lay down our lives. Now, living in Gilbert, AZ, we will most likely not have the opportunity to actually take a bullet for our loved ones in order to prove our love for them. However, we do have the opportunity, every single day, to put their needs and desires before our own- to die to ourselves. All we have to do is take advantage of every opportunity that we can, and when we fail, to begin again.
The Greatest
This kind of love is not easy. We won't always know whether our love will be appreciated, if it will help someone, or if the other will love us back. Love is risky, but it’s worth it. In his book The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis said,
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
Agape is what transforms and perfects all of the other types of love through Christ; who showed us what love really looks like. So this is the challenge for every Christian: to put love into action, we must be willing to make ourselves vulnerable. We must be willing to suffer.
The Least
Every single person in the world knows what it's like to suffer. We suffer in different ways, and to different degrees, but it's a part of all of our lives. How do we react when we see other people suffer? Very often, we avoid or ignore it. If it's someone we know and love, we probably just want to take it away. Why do we react in these ways? Seeing others suffer, especially the people we love, makes us uncomfortable. We don’t always know what to do or how to be there for someone, but it moves something in us. Suffering demands something of us. What should our reaction to suffering be? Yep, you guessed it, Love! Fr. Michael Gaitley said that love, when it meets suffering, is called Mercy. In the face of every suffering man or woman, we don’t just see them, we see Christ in them. When we show mercy by comforting the sorrowful, giving drink to the thirsty, forgiving offenses, or sheltering the homeless…we are really offering these acts of love to our Lord.
This is what motivates us to love others and to make that love known through merciful action. In his recent document introducing the Year of Mercy, Pope Francis said that, "Mercy is the bridge that connects God and man." Some people don’t know God. Some people don’t believe in Him. You could share His great love for them by being his hands and his voice and making Him visible. You could be that bridge.
Our Teens...
This last weekend, we talked, we listened, we prayed, we dodged tennis balls, we celebrated the Sacraments, we conquered fears, we started new traditions, we sang, we shared meals, and we slept (a little). Most importantly, we experienced the great love of God, our Merciful Father. His love will be what motivates us to be his Missionaries of Mercy in our own community and beyond. Pray for us!
“This retreat meant so much to me. It was my first true encounter with our Lord, Jesus Christ. I’ve had a strained relationship with Him for a long time, and I went into retreat with that weighing on my heart. But during the Adoration Holy Hour, to be that close to Him and to feel His presence for the first time was life changing. To lay out everything on my heart with just Him, and to touch the monstrance, I definitely cried harder than I have ever before, but it felt so good because I knew He was right in front of me. He made me realize how overwhelmingly blessed I was, and how thankful I was for Him to bring me to my new little family. I love each of them so very much. Going to church has a new meaning to me after this weekend, not only because I have new relationships with amazing people, but because it’s time I get to be close with Him.” - Jill, junior
“I just really had one of the best confessions I've ever had, I tried to really dig deep and I thought about all the commandments I may have broken and after my sins were forgiven I felt so much weight off my shoulders. It was really a calming experience.” - Ricky, senior
“Having the opportunity to learn about the different Greek classifications of love was really impacting. I think learning in depth about each type of love is something that'll be really helpful right now, especially at our age, where love is a really confusing matter. This retreat made love a lot easier to understand and my new knowledge will help in all future relationships, including to help strengthen my relationship with God.” – Adrianna, sophomore
This was a little taste of what our Spring Retreat was like. If you want to know more about it, ask someone who went! To find out about future retreats, check out our upcoming events and sign up for our E-News.
For further Reading:
The Four Loves - C.S. Lewis
Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love - Edward Sri
Misericordiae Vultus- Pope Francis
1 Corinthians 13
Mathew 25:31-45
About the Author
Lita Arroyo
I love all things true, good, and beautiful. I never walk by roses without smelling them and I always stop to watch the sunset. I love the Lord with all my heart, and I find Him in the most ordinary of places. If you can’t find me, I’m probably in a chapel or a coffee shop. Follow me on Instagram @litasnotintotemptation or Twitter @FollowinTheLita.
